Results

My doctor didn't sugar coat it so neither will I.

We cannot have a baby without medical intervention.

Saying it, then typing it and then reading those words makes me weep.

Test Results:
Blood work:My hormone levels are fine and my parts look good. The problem with me is I'm not ovulating and they don't know why. If you don't ovulate, you don't release an egg, hence you can't concieve.

Semenalysis:Chris's sperm are slow and low. A normal percentage is 25% and he's at 8%. Me not ovulating coupled with his low, slow sperm count is "troubling."

We are both essentially broken.

So my options are pretty slim right now and I have to wait until we get to Fort Hood, Texas in January for me to even begin to explore my limited options, if they even have an infertility specialist. If they don't I may have to drive to San Antonio to see someone. I will make that trip.

My FLW OBGYN recommended for me to go on Clomid. Clomid stimulates the release of hormones necessary for ovulation to occur and it's mainly used for treating female infertility.

If I take Clomid to help me ovulate and after three rounds if that doesn't work on it's own, i'd have to take Clomid and have the doctors inject his sperm into my cervix, aka IUI.

If that doesn't work, remember Chris has a low and slow sperm count, our only option for children is the painful and expensice IVF treatments.

Did I mention IUI and IVF are all out of pocket and they are not cheap?

Atleast we are still young right?

TRICARE does not cover non-coital reproductive technologies such as artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization or other types of assisted reproductive technology (ART) except under special circumstances for some severely wounded warriors.

Some Military Treatment Facilities may offer assisted reproductive technology services as part of their graduate medical education training programs.

From the get go, adoption for the both of us has been off the table and I am against using a surrogate. I want to experience all of it or none of it. Chris and I are also in agreement about not putting ourselves into debt over procedures that are not guarenteed (the average IVF cost is $12,000, but it can be as much as $15,000 per round).

I'm just numb. All I have ever wanted was to get married and have a family and I can't. We can't, naturally which is so defeating.

To make matters worse, Chris is deploying as soon as we get to Hood, which means we can't even start Clomid until he comes home in July/August. The doctor said perhaps weight loss will jump start my ovulation but that's still a long shot.

I went into this testing wanting answers, and I got them. Now I have to deal with the consequeces of opening Pandora's box.

I don't know who out there in cyber space reads my ramblings, but if you are a mom or dad, hung your kids for me. They are precious miracles. If you are the praying kind, pray for us.

Our First Home

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that we are home buyers!

So far everything is going well. We passed the credit portion (they look over all of your financial records to determine how responsible you are) and the appraisal (A lender won't lend you money if the home is valued less than the offer price) and our loan is at the final stage of underwriting.

All we need now is for the title work to come through. We've purchase our home owner's insurance and scheduled all of our utilities to be turned on and, just to be safe, ordered a home inspection.

Fingers crossed we can close on Dec. 26. Did I mention we will be signing of docs while we are in WDW?! What a place to create such an awesome memory =)

Judgement Day

Tomorrow is the big day.

I (we) finally get the results back from all of the testing (three rounds of blood work, a semenalysis, and the HSG).

The Doc could simply just say we are not "connecting" at the right time because i'm not ovulating due to a simple and fixable hormone imbalance.

OR he could deliver the worst news of my life, that Chris and I will never be parents.

Part of me thinks that if the tests revealed anything serious they would have notified me by now but then another part of me thinks that they haven't even looked at them yet since the doctor said they needed to see all the test results before he can tell us anything.

I've had a knot in my stomach all week about this visit. I NEED to hear the results. Even if what he says is bad news, I need to hear the words so we can move on with our lives.

To make this doctor's appointment worse is I have to go solo because Chris will be tied up with his ECCC graduation that I will probably miss. My appt. is at 9 and his graduation is at 10.

I hope we are not broken. I really want to be a mama and get to experience everything that comes with it, getting huge and all.