You've been Yard Bombed!

Birthday Party Time!

What’s better than one birthday party? Two, of course!

I fought my exhaustion hard last night and I got a great night’s sleep and was ready for a full day of birthday party pandemonium.

Grandpa Hoffmann threw the first birthday (it was a Mickey Mouse theme!) and he served up BBQ pulled pork, homemade slaw and baked beans and of course CAKE!

Chase was born the year the Cardinal's won the World Series and his birthday fell on opening day.

Party hat fail.

The Borland clan drove all the way from Fort Leonard for the festivities and it was the first time I have seen them since they left Hawaii in May AND it was my first time meeting Charlie!

Charlie and Chase are buddies and they spent some time getting reacquainted and playing. Both boys are such cutie-pa-tooties!

After a failed attempt at a cake smash, Chase DID NOT like getting his hands dirty, Who’d a thunk it!?, it was time to open presents.

Started off pretty good.

Wait for it...

What is this!?

It's my party and i'll cry if I want too!

Chase pretty much hit the jack pot and there would be more to come at his grandmas house the next day.

Like a good friend, Charlie gave the toys a quality control once over =)

Yupp, this one is a keeper Chase.

Once the rest of the party guests went home, we (the Hoffmann’s and the Borland’s) stayed up until 2 a.m. catching up, swaping stories and of course solving the world’s problems over cake and libations.

Just 20 more years lil fella!

Man I haven’t laughed like this since the gang was all together last Easter!

Meet me in Saint Louis

In honor of my Godson’s first birthday, I made like arduous journey across the Pacific and two time zones.

After getting up at 6 a.m. and working a full day in Hawaii, I boarded a plan at 6:30 p.m. for the fist leg of my journey. With six/seven hours behind me, a short hour and a half plan ride from Dallas, Texas to Saint Louis, Mo. was all that stood between me and the Hoffmann family.

I don’t know if I was still shaken up from my white knuckled, turbulent flights or just plain tired, it took me several moments to realize the three figures excitedly waving in my direction were my friends. 

My lil guy got so big!

Chase started walking at around 10 and a half months, and although his mother sent me tons of video evidence that he was in fact a bi-ped, I had to see it with my own four eyes.

He may have only take a dozen steps before I plucked him up and covered in him smooches! The last time I saw his sweet face he was just four months old.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, we made our way to the car where I was greeted by an old friend: McDonald’s Sweet Tea! In true Stephanie fashion, I had the drink but she threw my straw away! I knew this weekend was going to be one for the record books for sure.

The ride from the airport in Missouri to Jerad’s dad house in Illinois was quick. We made a pit stop to unload my stuff before meeting Steph’s dad and sister at a restaurant called Lotawata Creek Southern Grill. The portions here are huge, they made my inner fat girl blush. The portions are so big, they buy more than 5,000, 9 x 9 Styrofoam containers each week.

Since fried ravioli originated in Missouri, we ordered some for the table, and an order of creamcheese stuffed mushrooms. My Weight Watchers tracking was already shot.

Full from the apps, I decided to play it safe and order a salad from the “lunch menu.” Welp, when that sucker made its way to the table, my eyes bugged out of their sockets.

This was the LUNCH size portion. I don’t event want to know what the dinner portion looks like. Sadly, I hardly made a dent in it.

Full to our britches (note I am in the mid west) we ventured over to Toys R Us so Chase could pick out his birthday present. I made him a photo album, a year in review, and shipped it to his grandma’s house, but what kid wants a book for their birthday? He helped me pick out his elephant ball popper.

Belly’s still full and birthday gifts in tow, we headed back to Jerad’s dad house to unload and change. Steph had me hit the ground running and after a quick outfit change, we were on our way to Eckerts, which I dubbed the Whole Foods of Illinois.

The Country Store’s shelves are lined with old-time country favorites like apple butter, honey, jams and preserves, fresh baked goods, bread mixes, coffee blends, specialty teas and other gourmet goodies.

How fun are these "RedNek" wine glasses?! They are mason jars attached to a pedastle. Clever and very practical because they have a lid!

While we were moseying around and trying some samples, our noses caught wift of something delicious. This would be our lucky day. The store was having a wine and pizza pairing class and they had some extra seats!

We signed our selves up and noshed on pizza, got our wine learn on (Steph started feeling it after the second of five wines) and we even got to make/assemble our own pizza.

Caramelized onions, toasted walnuts, sun dried tomatoes, rosemary, blue cheese and balsamic vinegar. It was so so good!

Stuffed, Steph and I (I had to drive hehe) decided to try our lady luck at the Casino Queen, home to the loosest slots in town. This is where Steph used to work before she met Jared. Sadly, lady luck wasn’t on either of our sides and our machines of choice were not putting out. Steph broke even and I lost $15.

I can't believe how much stuff we crammed into my first day!

Par-Tay Time

Surprisingly, I woke up without a hangover (this would bite me in the ass later), made coffee and we (Kerri and her main squeeze and Kim and her hunka hunk of burnin' love, my better half was in the field all weekend so I was flying solo) all got ready to soak up some sun and hit the beach.

After grabbing some beach chairs and reconfiguring them so we could get maximum sun exposure, which was short lived because the weekend weather was a wash (read it was over cast, yeah it’s not perfect everyday in Paradise).

Cloudy skies didn’t stop us. Kerri had a hair appointment, Matt talked shop with Jerry, and Kim and I opted to swim laps in the lagoon. During my swim, which I haven’t done in FOREVER, I thought to myself, “this feels great!” I was in the middle of my third lap when I stopped to tread water so I could fix my fogged up goggles. Thank the baby Jesus I was deep enough and no one was around me because my tots had fallen out of my suit and I was free boobin’ it!

No wonder why it felt so great =P Again, real classy Lynch.

Work out now complete and boobs secure, I made my way back to shore and propped myself up on a lounger and read some of my new mags.

Did I mention I am spending the weekend with infamous Team Farns? I’m a lieutenant’s wife and I am chillin’ on the beach with a lieutenant colonel and his wife. This is kind of a big deal folks.

For some reason, sitting by a beach/pool makes me hungry 24/7. Lucky for me my company also has the same problem and we took a break from cloud bathing to get our lunch on.

I had some more one on one time with Team Farns. They are such a fun and approachable couple and lunch was not awkward at all.

Refueled, we parted ways (they had a couple’s massage) and I met up with the Long’s and hung out with them for the rest of afternoon. Kerri and Matt finally joined us pool side and we all lounged in the lazy river, went down the water slides, and relaxed in the double decker infinity hot tub until it was time to go back up to the room to shower for the party.

With three full bathrooms, plenty of getting ready space and lots of mirrors, we all get ready hella fast.

Not many other people came to the gathering, but the crowd we did have was perfect. Real intimate.

The drinking ensued and since we were all three sheets to the wind, we got the bright idea that we would walk around the hotel and take pictures planking in various locations!

Did I mention we are all grown-ass women!?

After our adventure, we stumbled back to the room, devoured three bags of popcorn, six orders of French Fries and passed out.

Remember that hang over I didn’t have on Saturday, yeah, it found me hard on Sunday!

So we are ballers…

When it comes to throwing a party, you either go big or go home, and this weekend’s shindig was no exception to that rule.

In true baller fashion, the Chase’s rented out a three-bedroom, grand villa at Disney’s Aulani Resort and Spa for his after command par-tay.

After a hair and nail appointment and dropping off my fur baby at the kennel, I made my way over to Aulani, for a what would later become an epic weekend.

This hotel room was bigger than most people’s homes! It was just massive. The room sleeps 13, has a giant kitchen, a dining room table that would make King Arthur blush, three full baths (more about this later) and an oceanfront lani (balcony).

The men went to the movies to see, “Act of Valor,” while the ladies stayed in for a girl’s night. No girl’s night is complete without libations, so after empting two bottles of wine, Kerri, Kim and I headed down to Off the Hook for grub, and of course, cocktails.

Full and feelin’ it, we went back upstairs, changed into our PJs and had girl talk over looking the lagoons until the guys came back.

With their blood pumpin’ from the movie, we (girls in PJs mind you) made our way to another bar/lounge on premise, Olelo’s, for some more beverages.

Do you see the pattern emerging?

I was already at my limit when we got to this bar and wasn’t going to have another, but the Farns peer-pressured me into a Long Island. Can’t really say no to an LTC, so yeah that concoction did me in.

For some odd reason, despite the late hour and the amount of booze in my system, I was NOT tired. Everyone else was ready for light’s out except me and when Kerri broke the news to me that everyone was hitting in the hay, in true drunk girl fashion, I had a temper tantrum, lost my bones and collapsed on the floor.

Classy. Real classy Lynch.

Determined to stay up and watch Disney movies (I’m 26…), I climbed into my bed, turned on my iPad and put the TV on.

10 minutes later, I was out.