Meal Metamorphosis

Now that we are down my entire income, making every dollar stretch and sticking to a budget is more important than ever. Instead of going to the grocery store and making spur of the moment dinner decisions, now I go with a meal plan and a list and have been making a valiant effort to stick to the list.

Some shopping trips are better than others =)

Being more budget conscious, I've also signed up for a coupon service (Coupons.com) and the local free military paper here (The Gidon) offers P&G Coupons in the paper every week. I recently bought a coupon book/grocery list organizer and before I hit the commissary I peruse my Pinterest Wall for ideas/inspirations/meals and go through my coupons to see where I can save some dough.

I wanted to have my friends Ashley and her fiance Eron, along with there two Beagle pups (Doc and Pierre), over for dinner since they had us over twice and cooked two fab home cooked meals while we were hotel bound/homeless and took care of my hunny while I spent two weeks in CT in July. I finally settled on a pulled chicken crock pot recipe that I found on Pinterest. I was a bit skeptical because it only called for three ingredients (Boneless, skinless chicken breasts, a packet of taco seasoning and a 16 oz jar of salsa) but all the comments/reviews were positive so I decided to give  it a whirl.

Pulled Chicken Crock Pot Tacos that are bomb and cheap and cheerful!

 

 

Boneless and skinless chicken breasts (No need to chop them, they literally fall apart- I used 3)
1 packet taco seasoning mix
1, 16oz jar of salsa (you decide the spicy level and brand)
Put it all in the slow-cooker.
Stir to combine and in 4-6 hrs (high) or 6-8 (low) you are good to go!!

I served them with soft and hard shell tacos, and all the fixins for tacos (Shredded cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream and salsa) and Mexican rices and they were a hit! I really like serving food that isn't fussy to eat or too prepare and I find that the more laid back the food the more laid back the company =)

Even thou I only used three whole chicken breasts and we ate until we were all stuffed, I still had a good amount left over. Since I don't like to throw food away (but i'm not a fan of eating the same thing over and over for days) I racked my brain on how I could morph/transform my leftovers into something else. Then it hit me: Make chicken tortilla soup! It was my first time making it (I perused several different recipes to gather the basics) but i'm pretty proud of my results =)

Chicken Tortilla Soup

 

Leftover chicken (about 2 cups of the shredded chicken mixture)
One 32oz box of chicken broth
One can corn (drained)
2 hand fulls chopped parsley or cilantro but I HATE cilantro so I used parsley
One squeezed lime
One can diced tomatoes ( I had leftover marinara sauce that I made so I used that)
One small can of diced chilies
1 small yellow onion

2-3 cloves of garlic
One can black beans, drained and rinsed
2 teaspoons of cumin
2 teaspoons of Chile powder

Salt and pepper to taste
 

I sauteed the onion, chilies and garlic in evoo then added in the rest of ingredients in no particular order. I let it simmer for about 30 minutes and finished it off with cheese, a dollop of sour cream and tortilla chips.

Catharsis

I'm just at a total loss and writing about this was supposed to make me feel better. It took me almost three months to finish and actually post my previous entry.

You never really know how much you want something until you see one line instead of two on test after test. It's just supposed to happen naturally and i feel like we are going against gods will going through this process. Chris ruled out adoption years ago (we obvs talked about wanting a family when we first starter dating 8 years ago) and I'm on the fence (more and more kids are being born with autism these days)  about fertility drugs and IVF (expectations are higher, therefore the disappointment factor is that much greater and even that isn't guaranteed).
Neither set of parents know about the "struggle" and every phone call ends with, "How about some grand kids?" I just don't want to repeat the story/process and everytime I do, it just makes me more upset.

To make things even worse, we are one of the only couples (I think there may be 5 out of the 112 couples and I think three of them are single dudes) without kids in the ECCC and all the activities are kid centered.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone :/
I've done two sets of blood labs so far. The first was nine vials and the second (day 3) was only two. Chris gave his *sample* can we say awkward? And I go for another set on day 21 to see if I'm ovulating. If I don't get a cycle on my own my Sept. 11, I have to go in for a pregnancy test and they will put me on another Progesterone regiment.
My dye test (it will check the shape of my uterus and see if any tubes are blocked) is scheduled for Sept. 24. After talking to a friend who's been through it and had it done (and had a baby recently) about it, I'm the most nervous about that portion of the work up. She said it doesn't hurt buts it's super uncomfortable. The dye part doesn't hurt but the subsequent cramping that comes with it during the days that follow should be fun.

I won't get any results until all this testing is done.

My nurse Shelly has been a Godsend during this process and I really applaud the ease and access to care out here. She said this test has proven to be very therapeutic. This test will give them an idea of what kind of state my uterus is in (shape, lining) and what my tubes look like (if there are any blockages that require surgery as well as flushing out any gunk that's built up over time).

A good friend of mind recently told me, more like reminded me that: "All those tests seem scary, but really you are being super proactive. You are DOING something, and that can only bring you CLOSER to your end result." I am be proactive and I am doing something to reach our goal or to get answers, but I'm just not sure how I'm going to handle the results if they aren't what we want.

I mean how do you react to someone saying, "some people are just not meant to be parents and you, my dear, are one of them"? I know that's the wrong attitude to have, but I guess I'd rather prepare for the worst and hope for the best ie we are just not "connecting" on the right day.
Ay carumba! Damn you MTV Teen Mom!

I'm just so overwhelmed I am trying to stay positive but the worse case scenarios keeping playing on repeat in my head.

The "I" Word

When I started this blog, I created it to both document our lives and as a creative outlet for me. With that being said, I haven't been doing so well on either front. The first reason is easy to explain, we have just been so busy the last few months that sitting down in front of the computer wasn't on my agenda.

The second, i've been holding back on. I haven't shared this "journey" with anyone because I don't want any more pressure. I'm under enough from both sets of parents, grandparents and siblings. EVERYONE always asks me, "Do you have kids?" "Do you want kids?" "Why don't you have any kids?" This drives me friggin nuts. I get asked this question all the time and being in the military and surrounded by people with kids constantly has proven very difficult for me. Everytime the Spanish Inquisition rolls around I just want to yell and scream and say, "None of our *BAD WORD* business lady! Why don't you ask me for my name and let's go from there, shall we? We just met .5 second ago and you are already asking about my medical history!? How about go away!" It's harsh but it's how I have been feeling recently.

Maybe i've been holding back and going this route alone because if I put it this out to the universe it means its real and its happening. I don't want a pity party or an outpouring of comments, questions or concerns. Just not my style or my reason behind this post.

It's no secret that I love children and that Chris and I would like to have some. I knew spending our first three years of marriage in Hawaii would not be the ideal time to procreate, because in my book I was too far from family. I grew up in a big family where everyone helps raise a baby. With that mentality, Chris and I lived it up in Hawaii and had a blast being kidless on a double income.

Our plan for Lynchlings was to get knocked up in Hawaii and have the lil love while Chris was attending the Engineer Career Course in Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. This "perfect plan" would give me something to do out in the middle of nowhere since the job department, is well, nonexistant and we would be much closer to family.

We put our plan into motion September 2011 kind of by mistake, but we took it as a sign to get the show on the road. I was so excited to be going back to CT for a visit, that in my rush to leave the house and head to the airport I left my makeup bag, which also held all my meds, on the sink counter in our bathroom. Birth control fail.

Since I had been on the pill for about 10 years, I figured it could take as long as a year to get pregnant, but in the back of my mind I was hoping it would happen sooner. Well after several months of irregualar periods, and by that I mean I period between September and January and no baby bump, I called my OBGYN because something felt wrong. My pap in October was normal but my honorary PhD told me that in order to get pregnant you need to have a period and if you don't have a period you don't ovulate which means no bambino.

Putting my young age, overall good health and wacky menses into consideration, my doc put me on a Progesterone regiment for three months. He told me to take these five little pills over the course of five days and within a few days of taking the last pill I should get a cycle and then we could, for a lack of a better phrase, "get busy." He said that after the first cycle if it didn't produce a lil one, he was sure it would do the trick, to continue on with another five pills. I was filled with hope. Well, that three month trial period came and went with out success.

I was deflated and defeated.

Now I was getting nervous. Eight negative tests and nine months later no dice. There were acouple of times I really thought two lines were going to show up. I mean, I was really sure we were pregnant:
Oct. 13 *my mom's birthday, what an awesome gift it would be to tell her she was going to be a grand mommy*
Nov. 22 *Something to be super thankful for!*
Dec. 28 *I really thought we were going to come home with a little souvenir from Disneyland*
*Feb. 14 *I had the cutest Valentine's Day card planned to give Chris*
May 12 *I really thought we were going to leave Hawaii with a Made in Hawaii baby and it was Mother's Day*
July 19 *my birthday*

I know i'm odd, but I want the day I find out to be a memorable day. Of course that single line came out quick every single time and I was devestated. Why isn't this happening for us?! I even bought dozens of ovulation tests because maybe we were doing it on the wrong days!?

When we moved from Hawaii to Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. in June, one of the first things I did was to make an appointment with my new primary care doctor to refill my progesterone. After going through my history with her, she ordered some blood work. After a few hours she called me back a bit paniced and said she was making me an appointment to see the infertility doctor and that my thyroid level was all jacked up.

All I heard was the word INFERTILITY.
I swallowed hard and my vision narrowed.

She calmed me down and explained my thyroid could very well be the reason I haven't been able to concieved because in plays a factor in fertility as well as skin appearance (mine has been digressing into it's puberty days) and hair (which mine has been falling out and I have developed psoraisis in my scalp).

My docs, yes two of them (my primary care and OBGYN) ran several blood tests on me and deduced after the fourth test that my thyroid was off and prescribed me some thyroid meds NEVER ONCE telling me that I couldn't take my thyroid medicine and my prenatal vitamins at the same time. Why not? Because one counteracts that other! The entire time I was taking this medicine it was doing nothing for me, hense when I had blood work done in Mo., it was really f'ed up. So she upped the dosage and told me how to take it properly this time.

Even though she was talking to me I was spacing out. All I could focus on was, "I'm going to make you an appointment to see the INFERTILITY specialist," and the word INFERTILITY just echoed in my brain. You have to be kidding me. I'm young, healthy and I've done everything right in my life (no drugs, no smoking, college, marriage, the whole nine yards) and i'm broken!? You spend your entire life trying not to get pregnant but the minute you try to it just doesn't happen. This has been my worst nightmare. You never in a million years expect to hear the words INFERTILITY being directed at you. It's just supposed to happen. It's the miracle of birth right?

Full of anxst at the world and an overwhelming feeling of sadness (What if I cannot give him kids? Will he leave me? What if i'm broken?) I went to my appointment not knowing what to expect. Usually people don't start the infertility work up until they have been trying for over a year but after going through my history my doctor decided to start immediately. My heart really sank when he handed me a piece of paper of what needed to happen:

1. Prenatal labs/screening: RPR, Rubella, HCVab, HbsAG, HIV.
2. Endocine labs as follows:
    a) Dheas- primarily produced in adrenal cortex, may contribute to hirsutism.
    b) Testosterone- primarily produced in the overaries but with also as a result ofperipheral conversion of androstenedione may contribute to hirsutism/virilization.
    c) 17alpha Hydroxyprogesterone- exclude possibility of late-onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia (due to concern of hirsutism/PCOS)
Day 3 of menstral cycle: FSH- assesment of ovarian reserve, estradiol- assessing ovarian function.
Day 21 of menstral cycle: Progesterone: produced by corpus luteum as a meausre of ovulation,
HSG (Between days 7-11 of menstral cycle): Dye test to asses uterine cavity and tubal patency.
Husband: Semen analysis

Holy shit balls. This is real. This is my life. This is really happening to me!

The Lynch Family is Growing By Four Paws

Meet our new little guy

Koa Lynch

Koa, means warrior in Hawaiian, and Chris has been wanting a big dog of his own ever since we arrived in Hawaii. However, with a pretty small back yard and my constant nagging, we agreed to get a small dog (Oakley Lynch Est. Aug. 2, 2010) in Hawaii and get his dog in Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. We didn't even have boots on the ground in a new temporary home state when Chris found a breeder for Rhodesian Ridgeback's. 

We tossed around the idea of getting a Doberman or a Rotti, but they are banned from Post and most people won't rent to you if you have a dog like that (Can you say breed discrimination?). As much as I would have loved a Golden, they just have way to much hair for me and my allergies and we couldn't agree on what color Lab (I wanted chocolate, he wanted black) we wanted so a Rhodesian it became!

Originally bred to hunt lions the breed is also known as the African Lion Hound. The Rhodesian Ridgeback's distinguishing feature is the ridge of hair along its back, running in the opposite direction to the rest of its coat.

We cannot wait to take him home Sept. 4 and introduce him to his big brother, Oakley!

This is Koa's momma, Chelsey.

This is Koa's dad, Savannah's Prince.

These are is brothers, Koa is the darkest one. Can you see the ridge?

Just born! Koa was even born on my birthday! July 19!

His sisters. Looks at those faces!

Capt. Lynch

After 43 long months of being an Lt., Chris finally got promoted and I couldn't be more proud of him

The Lts. getting ready to be pinned.

Gen. Deluca giving the promotion remarks.

Pinning my new Capt!

So serious.

Train Tracks!

Me and my shiny new Captain.