Anxiety

I have always been a pretty anxious person, but the past few weeks have taken that nervous energy to another level.

Randomly at nighttime and right before bed, I have been having really awful thoughts (death, dying end of the world type thoughts) and I cannot shake them. They creep into my head out of nowhere and they send me into a tizzy. My heart starts to race, I hear echoes in my head and I start crying. Chris has tried to comfort me, but I think he is scared and doesn’t know HOW to help me.

As quickly as this happens, it stops. I turn on the TV and try to watch something positive to try and take my mind off of it.

However, I had a massive one the other night when I was driving home after having dinner with friends in town. I was halfway home when it happened. My stomach felt like someone was twisting it like a wet towel ready to be rung out, my entire body got hot, I started to shake, my heart was racing, I was fighting the tears and my vision blurred and turned into tunnel vision. I was having a full-blown panic/anxiety attack.

Petrified, I called a friend who had suffered from this before and she talked me through it telling me to pull over, breath in through my nose and out through my mouth and to focus only on my breathing. Thankfully it worked but this lasted way longer than previous.

I was very shaken up by the episode and when I finally got home, my dog Oakley could sense I wasn’t okay. I busied myself making the breakfast casseroles and washing the dishes, all while Oakley was under my feet. I took the advice of my friend Kori and I called the doctor first thing Monday morning. When I asked to see my doctor they told me he wasn’t available until September (typical in the military) and when she asked what was the nature of my visit I said I think I am suffering from panic/anxiety attacks and I had a pretty serious one the day before. Even before I could finish my sentence she said she could get me in on Wednesday (whew).

Hopefully the doctor can help me snap out of it.