The Talk

Chris and I most definitely want to have kids and start our own little family… someday. We have talked about “when” at great lengths and sometimes we are on the same page and sometimes we are on different planets. I KNOW Chris will be an awesome dad and an amazing partner through all the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, labor and child rearing. He has said it time and time again that he is ready for the baby part but not the me being pregnant part — gee I wonder why… ;0)

We know there is no “perfect” and “right” time to have a baby and when you factor in the military side of things, you have to go with the flow.

I am a planner. I have always been a planner and leaving things to chance and the fertility Gods just isn’t in my DNA. Our perfect scenario is to get knocked up in Hawaii and have the baby at our next duty station (which I have heard great things about from my friend Emily who just had here baby there a few weeks ago), Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.

This way I would be able to spend the first year home with our future love bug (I think the first year is super important) without the itch to go back to work. I love working and as soon as I could get a job when I was 14 and ½ I jumped on the opportunity to make my own money.

Currently, I am working as the News Editor for the Hawaii Army Weekly and I love (most of the time) my job. I like feeling productive and I especially love being able to contribute to our income. With that being said, I want to work as long as possible so we can save as much as possible, so that when we start creating Lynchlings we will have an even more solid financial nest egg.

It’s hard not to have baby fever, especially being on an island full of military! Everywhere you turn there are baby bumps, infants and a trail a of children following closely behind their mothers. I was able to curb my fever last year when I got Oakley. It was just like having a newborn! He would get up every three hours to pee, potty training and was tough and teething hurt!

I was doing pretty well until my closest friend Stephanie got pregnant, followed by Emily a few months later! I have never been this close to someone who is pregnant, let a lone someone who is pregnant and my own age. This was the first time I have ever been around someone from conception to delivery. It was an awesome, real life science experiment! I got to ask lots of questions and I learned a ton from these mamas! I even got to hold Chase (my godson) when he was just three hours old! Makes me want to cry as I reflect upon it. Such a magical time.

Since my friend Emily had her baby in Mo. she has been great at keeping me in the loop about all things Fort Leonard Wood because that is our next stop. She also has a blog and has done an incredible job of documenting everything about her pregnancy right down to where she conceived (so cool!) and the emotions she felt during delivery. Her posts makes we weepy, but in a good way.

Those experiences took my fever out of hibernation and my new friend Georgette managed to raise my temperature! She invited me along to her ultrasound (I was unable to go to Stephanie’s appointments because of work) because I am so curious about this process. The cool thing about her appointments is she is having identical twins and the day I went with her, the docs confirmed they are girls!

I watched her 2-year-old daughter Shyna (she looks just like Boo from Monsters Inc.) and she is just smitten with me, while her mom had the first part of the ultrasound (getting all the babies measurements). Welp, as predicted, Shayna lost her mine (I don’t blame her) and cried and screamed and writhed on the floor for 20 minutes while I got stares of death from the pregnant ladies in the waiting room. They were probably thinking to themselves, “My kid will never act like that!” Wishful thinking.

Finally the doctor called us in so Shayna could meet her sisters. When Shayna saw the screen she said, “Look at the fishies!” Her mom replied with, “No, there are your sisters.”

Confused, Shayna said “Puppies?” Too cute. I was enthralled with the process. The doctor put the probe on her belly and all I could see resembled a dark cavern. Then the most amazing thing came into focus: Two heads side-by-side and then two noses, nose-to-nose. I started to cry my eyes out. I don’t know what came over me, but I was an emotional mess. It was the most AMAZING this I have ever seen. Two lives, four legs, four arms, two heartbeats, agh I am getting goosebumps just writing this. I was so moved by the images on the screen and that Georgette shared this with me.

I have been having reservations about this whole pregnancy concept because I have so many fears:

•Not being able to conceive.

•Having a miscarriage (my mom had two. One in between me and my sister and then my sister and my brother).

•Not being able to get pregnant right away and the toll that could take on us.

•Possibly having to use IVF or other methods which I don’t know if I could put myself through.

•Being afraid that if I couldn’t give Chris the children he so badly wants that he would leave me.

I know. I am crazy. However, when I saw the images of the twins, all those fears were gone. Seeing those two little life forms inside Georgette made me know it will all work out in the end. I just need to have faith that God will watch out for us and guide me through the miracles of pregnancy.

In terms of  what my husband  and I both agreed on during our “talk” was to wait until March rolls around to start trying because at least then we will have a more clear picture of what’s next. This list for captains comes out then and then he will be able to secure a spot for Captain’s Career Course. The more we talked about it the more sense it made. I get to work for at least another seven months, I can get into the shape I want to be in (I don’t want to gain 30+ pounds at the weight I am at now!) and we get to travel and be selfish, kind of like our last hurrah because we need to become grownups.

I can live with this “plan” =)