Hair Show Hot Mess

One of our good friends, Rose, is in hair school and has been talking about these hair shows her school puts on for First Friday's in town. Downtown Honolulu and Chinatown come alive every first Friday of the month in a celebration of Oahu art and nightlife. Basically it's a night of drinking escapades.

Naturally, this peaked my interest (c'mon what girl doesn't aspire at one point in her life to be a model) so I corralled two of my other Army wife friends into participating. 

In true Rose fashion, we didn't get all of the details. We were told to show up at 3, which really meant 2, and that all we needed were heels and a white dress (try finding that at the last minute in Hawaii) for her to doctor up. None the less, after scouring the mall and hitting up Ross, Kerri and I were ready, or so we thought.

When we arrived at the hair school, late of course, our friend Kim (she is the commander's wife and she is hella cool and down-to-earth) was already getting worked on.

I went straight into makeup and Kerri into hair.

Our group's theme was snow. I was a snowflake, kerri was an icicle, and Kim was frost. We had to come up names so they could announce us on the runway (Another small detail that Rose forgot to mention) so I was "Snow Storm," Kerri was the "Ice Queen" and Kim was "Mrs. Frost."

Lucky for us our guys were in the field, because we looked like hot tranny messes!

The group of "models" was interesting to say the least. I couldn't even tell if we were all women! One "mahoo" had his pole turned into a hole and worked the crowd like no one's business.


Before we took to the runway we had to have head shots taken (something Rose also forgot to tell us). I think they should recheck that guy's resume. There is no way a "high fashion photographer" makes you pose with hands cradled your chin like you are in Kindergarden. 

With the "photo shoot" behind us, it was time to make our runway debut. I was freaking out because we hadn't even seen the runway and I don't do well if I don't know what lies ahead of me. Of course, we were the last group to go and I was freaking out. There were A LOT of people! Luckily, the directions were easy, walk, pose, walk, pose and turn around and the runway was short. Whew!

Yeah, this model business isn't my thing, but I at least got to live out my model fantasy.

We all had a great time and were going to walk around and have a drink in our crazy hair and makeup ensembles until we had a hair-tastrophy on our hands.

Poor Kerri's golden locks looked like dreadlocks. 

I am not a hairstylist but I am pretty sure there is a fine line between teasing hair to give it volume and creating a rats nest. It took five people two hours after the hair show to help unknot Kerri's hair. 

Kerri wasn't mad or upset.

She was past that. 

She was enraged.

She left the hair school with a cacophony of detanglers in her hair and was told to wrap her wet hair in a scarf, sleep on it and to come back in first thing in the morning.

Fuming, we were on our way out of the school when the owner came up laughing and said "Let me see what they couldn't fix tonight." 

Kerri's NY came out and was not havin' it. Kerri told the owner she would be back first thing in the morning and the girl who did this to her is "Bat shit crazy and shouldn't be allowed in hair school," to which the owner replied. "I''ll be in at 10 and you will be long gone by then." 

After an additional six hours in the salon the next day, and several stylists on board to help, her hair was untangled but really damaged. To try and salvage her hair, a stylist made an attempt to "trim" her but her efforts were futile. Kerri had had enough!

Rose felt awful, but we said we would do it again if they gave us wigs next time!